“good girl”

Oh, how I melt in response to that phrase. No matter who says it, or whether or not I’m the receiver of the words, I mentally and physically connect to Daddy immediately. I don’t feel any more affinity for the speaker as I had prior to the praise fluttering from their lips, nor do I feel any more related to them as a person. My mind immediately flies to Daddy; the way those words sound rolling off his tongue, their implications, how much I love being his good girl.

Those two words hold so much intensity for me. When Daddy acknowledges my good behavior by calling me his good girl, I feel an overwhelming sense of littleness that really connects me to the little part of me; the predominant part of me. I get an urge to go and cuddle up in my blankets with my knees drawn up to my chest and just grin, pondering him. It reminds me of the little girl that I really am.

Speaking of my littleness, I’m letting that part of me shine. I don’t care to tuck her away anymore, to deny her presence as a huge part of who I am. Granted, I’m not flashing that portion of me all over the place- that’s a little too forward and unneeded. I am, however, giving into my guilty pleasures. The color pink. Bows. Knee high stockings and socks. Dresses and skirts. Lace curtains. Pink walls. All of the things that I’ve long since thought of myself as too adult and grown up for. I’m beginning to appreciate that I am who I am, and stop trying to force myself into little boxes that I don’t fit into. The same goes for my sexuality as a whole. I’m done being ashamed. For me, for Daddy, for us. I’m very easily embarrassed, especially about my submission. I feel too submissive (although that may be seen as contrary to my behavior), which makes me seize up and grow nervous. I’m trying very hard to let that part of me out, and let her run free. I no longer want to be disobedient, disappointing, or anything less than completely cherished. I’ve pinpointed my hesitance as a great part of the stress that has developed in my life as of late– I’m unmotivated, sad, and need reassurance. So, hopefully, with my determination, things will get better soon. 🙂

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~ by daddyslittlegirll on September 21, 2010.

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